Lost my phone and all my numbers. Left it on the table at Red Robbin in Santa Maria. Went back within about fifteen minutes and it was gone. Built myself a new phone and transferred my number. Transferred a test number to the stolen phone, and the scumbag who stole it wouldn’t pick up. S/he did answer texts after a while and wouldn’t even take $100 for it without trying to scam me further. So just on the off chance, here’s the deal. It’s a Sony Ericsson K550i, which is a black candy bar style phone with a silver sliding lens cover. It’s distinctly identifiable by the fact that it is marked as a test unit or prototype.$100 to anybody who can provide the phone, and $500 to the person who can provide me with the identity of the person who told me to fuck off when I was offering $100 for the safe return of my own property.
Not, you know, in general, but this year: Fuck Valentine’s Day!Last year was the first year I had cause to really go all-out for Valentine’s Day, and I did. I was planning weeks ahead, and I prepared a kick-ass surprise for my girlfriend. It was so kick-ass, in fact, that I heard all about how jealous the women in her office were. What I did was to buy a whole everlovin’ bunch of little hearts made out of some weird gelatinous substance, and decorate every window (except the windsheild, which would have been unsafe) on her car. She drove around like that for a couple of weeks. It was pretty damned cute. She even put one of the little hearts on the rear-view mirror and kept it there until our final apocalyptic break-up in December.So yeah, kind of a sore subject this year, but the rest of y’all go out there and enjoy yourselves. I’ll be hiding in my V-Free Zone.
The following is, I still think, a fairly interesting analysis of how to determine the amount of computing power would be required to create an artificially intelligent humanoid machine. You can probably guess what jump-started this train of thought, but I think it still holds up. I will admit, however that I overestimated the level of definition required for several of the measurments. I’ve cleaned up a few spelling and punctuation items to better communicate my intent.
Big inebriated thought of the day. A continuous universe does not exist outside the human mind. No “thinking machine” can conceive of anything continuous. No matter how small the slice, a digital machine can never produce anything but slices of time. Moments. No matter how completely, and how quickly you slice the universe, it will never be truly continuous.
A living conscious mind senses and perceives the universe as a continuous shifting whole, and understands it as such.
Neither view can be proved accurate.
If a computer could accomplish an associative pictorial, or an associative sensorial search, it could probably be considered alive.
An associative pictorial search would be my connecting an image of a unicorn into all of the following in simultaneous analysis. (Wow. Thought is preemptively multithreaded. I really can only hold one idea in my mind simultaneously. It’s just that I can bounce between them so rapidly it seems constant.)
1. Another picture of a unicorn.
2. The whole sense memory of looking at that picture with my family.
3. The associated thoughts of horses and zebras.
4. Many tangential full sensory experiences of viewing and touching and riding those animals.
5. Associating #4 to any time I’ve ridden a four legged animal (elephant).
6. The thought that each of those memory instants is the equivalent of at least an NTSC image file, about .5-.75 seconds of audio encoded in at least DVD audio quality (meaning all surround channels at 96kHz 24 bit audio), and sense memories equivalent to at least one for every bone, or point of articulation of the most sophisticated digital character, at a sensitivity of at least three axes of movement per point, with -1024-1024 bit positive and negative encoding captured at at least 500Hz.
7. Realize that this is just living life with the complexity of a memory. Think of this as a compressed version of life in the moment. Everything is captured to memory in low-res, low framerate version. Realize that to create a moment of life is to not only add touch (as opposed to kinesthesis), and smell, and high definition, but to increase the definition of other senses.
Now calculate number six into a per-second number of calculations, and you’ll have the minimum processing power required to encapsulate one instant of virtual Memory.
In a second, “simultaneous” moment, I was following the thought of trying to type the first list one handed, I had an associative-sensorial search initiate. I felt that the experience/moment might resemble a hypothetical sense moment for Stephen Hawking early in his disease progression. Realize this hypothetical simulation was occurring side by side with the thought in #6.
What if Stephen Hawking’s translators have simply learned physics so well they are stating their own theories by now?
If a brain could perform the math to record all points of measurement listed in the list, at the listed data rates, and output to all output channels the same data at about 4Hz, )the time I’m arbitrarily attributing to the time-slice interval between an impulse and an “instant” conscious decision process, such as the decision to dodge left instead of right), and creating a short term (1 sec), mid term (4-10 sec), and long term (10 sec-1min) forecast( keyframe for rendering movement [takes into account assumed values for some points of measurement/articulation picking those values from a table of similar experiences, which is in itself made up of low-res memory moments]), I think it could be considered alive.
Integrate pain at VBR and touch at 250DBI, 8 bit depth, 8 bit pressure, 8 bit wet, 32 bit heat. Video in the conscious moment is much more wide-screen. 18/6 ratio.
Emotional state might be measured in -512 sad-happy+512, -512-Energy+512, -512-Gravity+512, encoded at 20Hz.
Highest bit rate should be to the sense in primary focus, with other senses at perhaps 2/3 sample rate.
Don’t forget either taste or smell.
Memory is constantly culled for irrelevant info.
A “finished” memory might occur more than once an hour. I say finished, meaning it is a keyframe from which a projection of any previous moment can be made. So if memory is initially captured at several times a second, you eventually arrive at perhaps 12 frames kept from any day of your life, an entire “memory” (which might come to represent a second, a minute, an hour, a half a day, or a whole day, perhaps even a week. These projections and memories can, of course, overlap on a timeline. can, however be built from a frame by extending some fourth dimensional, “trending points”. Thus, a series of measurable moments can be condensed into the timeline of our memory. These “moments. can even be measured by how long a period they cover at what variable resolution). This can give you an average density, with which you can determine your memory needs for life. Incorporate the culling of the least important data, since we know that memories fade in definition and resolution with age. Your brain continually compresses the oldest data. This might explain the true amount of storage in the human brain, thus showing an ultimate memory capacity for a healthy person dying of old age.
But I’m really tempted to call Lindsay Lohan. And “Leelee”, (Sobieski, perhaps?). Then again, Crank Yankers might actually be worth watching now.
This one is for all my friends still suffering under the torture that is Mr. Yep-Lee Corso. I don’t know him. Couldn’t pick him out of a line-up, but Lee Corso must die.
Okay. Maybe not die.
Lee Corso must be subjected to a noogie so severe it leaves his head polished to a mirror finish. The sad thing is he’s probably not aware of the torture he’s inflicting upon hundreds of thousands of Home Depot employees nation wide. His voice is piped in a few dozen times a day in a grating comercial that begins “Not so fast, my friend!” It’s awful. It’s torture. It has earned him The Noogie of Infinite Friction.
This is my way of prefacing the fact that I just finished my final shift at the Home Depot. Aside from Mr. Yep-Lee Corso, everyone there was really cool, and I will miss the folks there. The good news is that I’ve gotten what should shape up to be a fantastic job at The Mac Superstore in San Luis Obispo. This new job is superior in many ways, not the least of which is that I get to go to work amongst my very favorite toys every day. Oh-yeah. I’m also going to get a chance to move. I’ll post more details when I get settled in.
Yes, this is sad, but the lesson is,”Don’t take your infant children to fucking horror movies, you inconsiderate child abusing asshole!”
Yeah, they’re greaving, blah, blah, blah, but if they’d been responsible parents, the kid wouldn’t have had popcorn in his mouth when he got the shit scared out of him. When you get scared, you inhale. When you laugh, you exhale. Take your fucking kids to see fucking kid movies, stupid.
When I was teaching, I had a kid tell me about the time his parents took him to see one of the Candyman movies when he was three or four years old. There was a scene where the Candyman opened his coat and his body was made of bees. The kid pissed himself right there in the theater, and has grown up with a phobia of bees.
Don’t take your small children to scary movies, people. It isn’t good for them.
For my birthday, I got Buffy: season five and Firefly on DVD. Shame on all of you for not watching Firefly. It was a good show and it was something new and different. I hope it finds it’s way back into production somehow.